We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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