hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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