i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
