just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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