he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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