He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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