I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
