I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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