Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
