Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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