hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It's never too late to be topless.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
