does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
