I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Dick very happy bro
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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