You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
