At least make sure they are 18
Why
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
