Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
