Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You are the jesus of drinking
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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