The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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