Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
