So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
