well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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