I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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