Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
