that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
