Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
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