Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The uberlube is also flammable
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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