We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
