i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
