i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
