there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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