You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
