Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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