So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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