I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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