escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize