were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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