super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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