i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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