What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
