She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
