so explain again why im purple
no
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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