are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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