Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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