I like to think it a success when the cops are called
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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