i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
