Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
