I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
and she was petting her beer can
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
