Can Purell be used as lube?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
