if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
