making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We're too hungover to prance.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize