Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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