I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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