My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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