I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
