is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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