i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
