I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
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I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
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In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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