Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
