where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
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