It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
