she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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