we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He did a backflip because drugs
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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