So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
