I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
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